A Not-Sew-Magical-Sequel (CREEPYPASTA)
(WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS CONTENT LIKE LANGUAGE, GORE, DEATH, PARASITES, DROWNING AND DARK COMEDY. IF YOU GET SCARED BY THIS, DON'T YELL AT ME FOR IT. YOU CHOSE TO READ IT.) (based on a dream i had) No matter how many years passed and will pass, I liked and will still like Lalaloopsy. All the characters and concepts were and still are very interesting (though Jewel was always my least favorite) and the couple episodes I saw of both the original show and the reboot of Netflix were cute and in the case of the reboot actually very emotional. I also watched all the movies and while a majority of them were slightly flawed one way or another, that didn’t stop them from being good. Hearing the toys being discontinued and the Netflix show cancelled indeed made my heart sink. But that’s not all what I wanted to talk about. Onto Lala-Oopsies. If you don’t recall, Lala-Oopsies was a spinoff line. As the name suggested, the characters were in mixed rainbow colors and body proportions that deviated from the usual Lalaloopsy dolls, looking like, in my own words, mutants. They came as princess/ballerina hybrids and mermaids, with the ‘Littles’ (which in the original Lalaloopsy line, were the younger sisters) as fairies. They had one movie, “Lala-Oopsies: A Sew Magical Tale”. It was like all the others, cute, a bit funny, and a simple Lalaloopsy adventure with the Lala-Oopsies. What I never knew was that they were apparently planning on a sequel. I was at a garage sale of sorts (i know, very cliche) when I found a blank DVD case. Here’s what it read: “LALA-OOPSIES-SEQUEL(UNFINISHED)” “Is this a joke?” “Oh, that!” The owner of the sale noticed me and casually went on “I worked at MGA Entertainment… they were making a sequel to the Lala-Oopsies movie… some guy decided to make that, apparently as a joke, and he was fired as it had quite a bit of… crazy stuff. We decided to cancel it altogether as we didn’t have any other ideas... We were handed copies of it from the guy who made it before he was fired. The footage is all there. There’s a lot more stuff that happened after that, but I don’t really wanna go into full detail. If you wanna know completely, it’s worth only a dollar. Not somethin’ I’d wanna watch again.” Out of morbid curiosity, I agreed to buy the thing. So I went home, made sure to get my DVD player on, and opened the case. There were two discs. One that read “MOVIE” and another that just had random scribbles on it. I tried to make out if the second one actually said anything, but I couldn’t read it for shit. I got out the one that read “MOVIE”, making sure it was the film itself, and placed it in. Hoo boy, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. There was no menu or trailers, though that was kinda expected considering it was unfinished. It just went straight to the movie. It all looked official one way or another. Some scenes were fully animated, others were simple animatics, others were in between. But I’ll just say before we get on that it was not at all the usual Lalaloopsy fare. There was no sign of anyone’s pets at all throughout the whole movie. There wasn’t any music, like, at all, and that just made it a bit more unsettling. Well, most of it wasn’t. It started off like your usual Lalaloopsy movie. Bea was walking down a path and singing a song about math to herself. A rather bad one, if you ask me. So bad, I have easily forgot about it. While walking, she finds the door that leads to Lala-Oopsies Land. As the first movie took place in mostly a story that Bea was reading, she is surprised that apparently Lala-Oopsies are true. She leaves to find her friends, the rest of the Original 8 to be exact, and tell her all about it. This exchange from the conversation is what mainly caught me off guard. Jewel: “So you just managed to find something from a story you read once in reality? I don’t believe it one bit.” Spot: “Jewel. This is felting BEA SPELLS-A-LOT we’re talking about. The brains? The genius? The nerd? The know-it-all? She doesn’t seem to be making it up.” Was felt their way of saying fuck? That was not in the other Lalaloopsy stuff I knew, as it was aimed at young children. I figured that was at least one of the reasons it was never finished. I decided to keep watching to find more reasons. The Lalaloopsies were at the door to Lala-Oopsies Land, and as she didn’t believe it before as shown by the previous exchange I wrote about, Jewel was understandably dumbfounded. “Felt me, there really is a Lala-Oopsies Land…” So of course they all opened the door and entered. Only as it turned out Lala-Oopsies land… wasn’t exactly as the story told. The skies were orange like the original, but were more of a sickly shade of it. The ground was grey, rotted, and corpse-like. The mushroom ‘trees’ looked much more like actual fungi, and the strawberry-milk rivers and seas looked spoiled and curdled, and I could even make out a skeleton (presumably of a drowned Oopsie) in them. Bea probably put it best. “Well… it seems the book apparently romanticized a couple details…” The group decided to venture in and explore anyway. I couldn’t help but bring up the fact that a couple of them coughed quite a bit when they went in. Okay, scratch that, they were coughing violently, like they just inhaled smoke. Pillow: “Felting seamstress, this place is polluted.” As they were walking through, some sort of large insectoid jumped right on Peanut’s face Alien-style. Now I could really see why this movie didn’t make it. Obviously, everyone was panicking at the sight and trying to get the bug off. It wasn’t until like half a minute that Bea managed to find a stick on the ground and strongly swatted the insect away from Peanut’s face, though it seemed she also hit the face from this dialogue... Peanut: “TRY AVOIDING THE FACE YOU IDIOTIC FELTING STITCH.” ...and stabbed the insect multiple times, pink-ish blood spraying from the body, gore getting everywhere. The other seven were so disgusted that Crumbs vomited right on-screen from the sight. Organs were coming out of the creature as Bea stabbed, and as I looked close enough the organs seemed rather human-like. That was pretty weird as the insect didn’t look human at all. Well at least I found another reason for this movie’s rejection. Before Bea turned the monster into an unrecognizable bloodied mush, I could make the colors of the insect to be that of the Lala-Oopsies fairy Lilac, hot pink and sky blue. Nah, I’m pretty sure it was just a coincidence. And yet… Oh, that reminds me of another scene that happened later on. The eight were venturing on into the islands riding on some sort of old rusted boat they found, and then suddenly some sort of sea serpent or something like that i dunno with the same color scheme as the mermaid Water Lily rose from the rotted strawberry milk oceans. Bea tried to row the boat away, but the monster attacked and even picked Jewel up and devoured her. There wasn’t any doll stuffing or anything cute like that. Jewel’s remains actually spurted crimson blood and human entrails as she was being chomped down on and eventually swallowed. Screaming as if the actress herself was getting violently disemboweled. I can still hear her agonized screams as I write this, so that’s pretty annoying. Pillow’s reaction perfectly described mine. “HOLY FELTING SILK.” My god... how the heck was a doll said to be sewn from a dress able to have human blood and guts?! Then again, it was a cartoon… a rather gory one if ya ask me. In all honesty though, Jewel’s death was horrific yet satisfying for me. I never liked her the slightest. During the attack, Mittens and Spot fell into the strawberry milk ocean as the boat was destroyed. It didn’t show the rest of what happened to them so I can safely assume they were either eaten or drowned. Or both. So the ones left were Crumbs, Peanut, Dot, Pillow, and Bea. They latched onto the boat’s remains as they headed to a large island. The island’s inhabitants were all the princess ballerinas, both in the first movie and toy-exclusive, mutated to grotesque proportions, their hair all mussy and in tangles. Most of the princess’s faces were obscured by their hair, but the ones I was able to see were distorted in such a way I can’t really describe that well, though I’ll admit they looked pretty damn cool. Oh, their clothes were also a wreck too so yeah. Crumbs became an idiot and decided to go up close to one (can’t remember which, i think it was Saffron?) to try and approach it friendly enough. Saffron, like a wild animal, lunged at Crumbs and proceeded to violently rip her to shreds, and sure enough it was just as gruesome as Jewel’s death. I remember just thinking to myself, “what the hell was this person on when making this?” And yes, the remaining girls were horrified by that too and ran from the princesses as fast as they could. Remember the scene I mentioned earlier with Peanut apparently getting attacked by that bug? Welp, they didn’t forget about that. Peanut immediately fell over, having a rather violent fit as she struggled for breath, her skin deteriorating as multi-colored insect larva ate their way out of her everywhere, some even lunging out like the chestbursters in Alien. (yes I know I already made that comparison before but still) They then proceeded to lunge at Pillow and devour her alive as she could only scream and the final two, Bea and Dot, could only watch. As Pillow was honestly one of my most favorite Lalaloopsy, I just felt awful watching that. Before they could be next, Bea and Dot finally found the door where they came in. It tugged my heartstrings seeing the two tearfully look back, apparently reminiscing their friends, before leaving Lala-Oopsies Land for good. It then cut to Bea in bed, very ill. She was apparently covered in radiation tumors and her hair was almost gone. Apparently the island was highly radioactive. Dot was next to her bed in tears, as Bea weakly said her final words. “I’m sorry, Dot… sorry… for everything...” Violently coughing blood, Bea finally kicked the bucket as Dot sobbed hysterically. The movie cut to black and ended there with, surprise-surprise, no credits whatsoever. All I thought of was “How the hell did Bea get sick from radiation poisoning but Dot didn’t?” So anyway I took the movie disc out and put in the one with all the scribbles. It was a compilation of recorded clips, all of them surprisingly in the MGA Entertainment headquarters itself I presume. One clip I remember was a Lala-Oopsies Princess Anise doll flying, chasing a random employee as said employee was in a panic. Yea it was a weird one. Another consisted of another employee testing out a Princess Juniper doll. As they were squishing the head, (the Lala-Oopsies dolls had squishy foam heads) the doll suddenly started to bleed violently. Not gonna lie, I laughed at what the employee said. “GOD DAMN IT GARY WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MAKING THE DOLLS BLEED.” Last one I remember was two employees talking to each other. One of them asked the other, “What exactly was your motivation in making this weird-ass movie?” The other employee just responded in a weird reverse demonic gibberish I didn’t have time to translate. The first employee’s only response was a flat “what”. Exactly my reaction too. I decided that was enough and took out that disc and put it away. Where’s the case now? In one of my shelves. I’m keeping it. I just think it’s pretty unique in a way. Not like it’s cursed or anything. The End Category:Creepypasta Category:Horror Category:Not for Big Babies or Little Children Category:Creepy Category:Parodies